Wednesday, May 18, 2005

What do you have to lose?

You can hear or download all or any of these 12 songs right here.
Go on, it would make me all fuzzy & warm inside.
Please?

************UPDATE***************
Check out the brand new song; "White celebration"

Monday, March 14, 2005

We both know

Though it's suppressed & unexpressed
it still appears like an unwelcome guest
it will not rest
it's on a quest
it kicks & snarls like it's resisting arrest

it may fade or diminish
but we both know it will never truly finish

it won't relent, it stays intent
on dragging us into it's descent
it is hell bent
on it's torment
it's stranglehold it seeks to cement

decayed within from words unspoken
but we both know that this circle can't be broken

and those moments of alcoholic bravery
when we let it venture out to flirt with you & me
just when it thinks that it might wrestle free
down comes the shroud of sobriety

So it persists & it insists
it bares it's teeth & clenches it's fists
we can't dismiss
that it exists
it takes the blade & it smiles as it twists

the sweetest pain, the gentle violence
but we both know it can never be silenced
we both know
we both know
we both know
yeah, we both know

Resistance is futile

My phone can ring at any time of day
it's her & she wants me to come out to play
no matter what I stand to lose
she knows I can't refuse
& why would I want to anyway?
her power scares me if I'm honest
but she's more than a woman, she's a goddess
the feel of her skin
lights the fire within
& it can not be extinguished

She knows
it only takes one smile
my mind blows
resistance is futile

The scale of my weakness is distressing
but nothing compares to her undressing
the taste of her lips
& the curve of her hips
this slavery gets my blessing
the days, weeks & months they pass so slowly
I feel like a monk, yet unholy
& it's my downfall
I'm at her beckon call
my need is relentless & it's growing
is it showing?

She knows
it only takes one smile
my mind blows
resistance is futile

Hate farm

Here on the hate farm
we breed intolerance
here on the hate farm
we sow the seeds of ignorance

And I don't care if you are dying
just get off my land
And I don't care what you went through to get here
just get off my land
I don't care if your food's been eaten,
your wife's been raped & your children beaten
just get off my land

Here on the hate farm
we'll increase security
here on the hate farm
we'll keep you under scrutiny

And I don't care if you're maimed by a landmine
just get off my land
I don't care if your government oppresses
just get off my land
I don't care about ethnic cleansing,
Kalashnikovs or electric fencing
just get off my land

we know you're just a bunch of freeloaders
we read the Daily mail & that's what it told us
you & your kin
you're not getting in

The truth about you

My first mistake
I believed every word you said
lucky escape
for a fool so easily led
once you made me feel special but all that time I never knew
the truth about you

drama princess
I'll never be that stupid again
A chaotic mess
I flinch now when I hear your name
Once I'd have given you the whole world but all that time I never knew
the truth about you

Take me away
take me up into the sky
drop me off with just a parachute of lies
when I hit the ground
you were nowhere to be found
& nowhere to be seen

now that you're gone
I can still hear your voice in my head
the pain has moved on
leaving emptiness instead
once you made me feel so so special but all that time I never knew
about the things you'd do
I never even had a clue
It was a bolt out of the blue
Oh no no no no no I never knew
the truth about you

Egg wielding freak

You’re always trying to bar my way
With your overhead projectiles
What’s your problem anyway?
Is your blood as cold as reptiles?
were you sent here just to bug me?
or are you bitter ‘cos you’re so god damn ugly?
As if this rat race was'nt hard enough
With the gorillas and the mushroom heads
I’m only trying to get from A to B
But it seems you want me dead
Ooh, I think you’re living in the past
Ooh, I think I’m gonna have to kick your dinosaur ass

you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really hate you
Yeah, you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really, really hate you

If you put me in a spin again
It’s likely that I’m gonna lose it
I’ve got a tortoise shell with your name on it
And I’m not afraid to use it
Ooh, and if you think that’s frightening
Ooh, wait and see what I can do with a bolt of lightning

you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really hate you
Yeah, you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really, really hate you

One day I’ll wish upon a star
Then you’ll see what I can do
Like the vermin that you truly are
I’m gonna exterminate you
Ooh, and in a funny way I’m gonna miss you
Like an Arabian knight would miss his igloo

Ooh you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really hate you
Yeah, you’ve got a vicious streak
You’re an egg wielding freak
And I really, really hate you

Upon the scales

When they put my life upon the scales
When they add up all my failures
When I’m held accountable for my crimes
When it all comes back to haunt me

Jesus knows I’m scared
Heaven knows I’m scared

Don’t think my actions can be justified
Don’t think that there’s enough excuses
Maybe it’s time I found some faith
Or maybe it’s all just a little too late

Jesus knows I’m scared
Heaven knows I’m scared

And I’ll beg for some forgiveness
I’ll pray to be saved
And I’ll suffer for my weakness
On judgement day

Jesus knows I’m scared
Heaven knows I’m scared
Jesus knows I’m scared
Heaven knows I’m scared

The love of my night

I've always liked Fridays
& I've always liked going out
I've alway liked getting dressed up, messed up
& I've always liked to jump about
Nowadays I like all days
even those in midweek
since you came along & turned my frown round honey
with the love of which I now speak

And I'll never see you again
but it doesn't cause me pain
That's not to say you werent perfect baby
you were out of sight
yeah yeah the love of my night

I've always liked the ladies
but I've never had much luck
the words would go wrong or things didn't feel right honey
but that's all changed now for good
'cos my confidence is sky high
see it smash through the ceiling & the roof
& I owe it all to you now
you'll live forever in my memory & here's the proof

And I'll never see you again
but it doesn't cause me pain
That's not to say you werent perfect baby
you were out of sight
yeah yeah the love of my night

and you gave to me, affection
and you gave to me, direction
and you gave to me, perfection
and you gave me ego resurection

And I'll never see you again
but it doesn't cause me pain
That's not to say you werent perfect baby
you were out of sight
yeah yeah the love of my night

Nothing's changed

Hope with no faith
A dream with no awakening
Effect without cause
Shame without remorse

you don't have to tell me nothing's changed 'cos I know

sex with no love
a view with no horizon
pattern without trend
pain without end

you don't have to tell me nothing's changed 'cos I know

No absolution
no condemnation
no obvious solution to this hopeless situation
hollow be my name

you don't have to tell me nothing's changed 'cos I know

Leave the poor girl alone

so what
she's got a couple of spots
does that constitute
any kind of news?
banner headline
oops she did it again
informative stuff on your showbiz page
or just a sad old hack in a jealous rage
either way
leave the poor girl alone

stop the press
she drinks, she smokes & she has sex
well is that not true
of a million girls aged 22
let's try a new headline
NO! let's go with oops she did it again & again & again & again & again
Oh a double page spread 'cos her g-strings on view
the journalistic world must be so proud of you
and your parents too
leave the poor girl alone

Second best

I don’t wanna see you
Running your finger down a list of names
Before you remember to
Flash me a smile and ask me how I am
And I’m so sorry
But I feel the need to get this off my chest
I’m sick and tired
Of always being someone’s second best

In the name of research
I’m running my finger down a list of names
Of all the ones I’ve been close to
I’m figuring out how many felt the same
And I’m so weary
Of analysing every last caress
But I’m sick and tired
Of always being someone’s second best
Of always being someone’s second best

I know this self pity
Does not become me
It just sometimes
Gets the better of me

Never enough

So you lurch from one girl to another
coming on like some kind of big lover
satisfy their needs but what of your own
it's all so frustratingly temporary
weekend brings the weakest of ecstasies
it fades & dies as soon as your balls are empty
so what's next, what's next, what's next
is this the way it's gonna be till the end?
It's never enough

kid yourself that the object of your affections
struggles with her emotional suppression
reality check, reality check
there is nothing left for her to suppress
& have you not yet realised that it's impossible
to replace the irreplaceable
oh your head so full of dreams
but you're devoid of hope, devoid of hope
it's never enough

Confessions of an idiot

I was only 8 years of age
when I first took up position centre stage
I saw the faces smiling
the pride was overwhelming
& I smiled back singing "any dream will do"

Passion picked up pace throughout my teens
at school I played with synths, a 4 track & a drum machine
thoughts germinated into song
& I knew that it would not be long
before the whole world was listening to me

18 took my foot of the gas
figured I had years ahead, didn't need to bust my ass
I did the things that young men do
& suddenly I was 22
I turned around & scratched my head

at 24 became the frontman of a band
& we were big in Barnsley if not big in Japan
the sound we made was blistering
but behind the scenes whispering
soon put paid to all that

then I settled in a town devoid of dreams
just a dodgy covers band being the local music scene
I found a job & built a home
got married, left my hopes alone
only chance to shine; sad karaoke

29 I started writing again
just so I could express all the things I could not say
I knew the songs were bloody good
but I also knew the likelihood
was no one would hear them but me

& I can
Blame it on the boogie, blame it on the sun
blame it on Simon Cowell & Will Young
Blame it on my sister, blame it on my dad
blame it on the brother that I never even had
Blame it on the mortgage, blame it on life
blame it on the stifleing, controlling ex-wife
blame it on a black star, blame it on the bends
blame on a big long list of long lost absent friends
I could blame it on my hair, blame it on my skin
blame it on the fact that I have never been thin
I could blame it on Blair, blame it on Bush
blame it on the alcohol & all of the drugs
blame it on parenthood, blame it on the job
blame it on the holy ghost, Jesus Christ & God
blame it on the French, blame it on Steve
but the only place to point that fingers is right back here at me
RIGHT BACK HERE AT ME

so here I am now 35 years old
& the devil doesn't want to buy this tortured, tattered soul
The truth I must come to accept
nothing now can resurrect
the icy cold corpse of long dead hope

So these confessions of an idiot are for you
my humble little audience, the select few
I hope the irony will not be lost
as I say no matter what the cost
any dream will do